aim high, dream big, love effortlessly <3

“I’ve come to the realization that I’m an asshole. I know, I know – I’m late. Fuck you. I consider myself a good friend, but I’m def not the best person to talk to if you’re looking for some sugar-coated sympathy. I’m not the friend that’s going to be on your side just because we’re friends. I’m not going to pretend like I can’t see past all the bullshit. And I’m not going to tell you to follow your heart when we both know its GPS is broken.

I’m going to be the friend that calls you out on your bullshit, and doesn’t mind you doing the same. I’m going to be the friend that shakes my head at you when you leave GNO to fuck some loser that keeps breaking your heart, but will still pick you up at his house in the morning. I’m going to be the friend that will never approve of a man that obviously doesn’t deserve you, but never wants to see you sad either. I’m going to be the friend that may never agree with all of your ideals, but will love you for them regardless.

I know it makes me sound like a hater, but the only thing I hate is seeing you settle.

So to my friends, I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I’m not the easiest person to talk to about things. I’m sorry if I’m the overprotective friend that should just keep her mouth shut sometimes. And I’m sorry if my “tough love” comes off as me being judgmental. I just want the absolute best for you, and I’m sorry I want that more than you do.”

GATNB

“Sometimes we do things and have no idea why we do them. Sometimes we say one thing and then do another. Sometimes we feel a certain way and then our actions reflect just the opposite. And then sometimes we want to go to Great America and feel like a kid again and ride all the rides and eat all the bad theme park food and take pictures in the picture booth and then go back to the car to drink some Henn and apple juice so that you got a nice lil’ buzz for the fireworks show – with only one person in the entire world. And then, we ask somebody else.

Because sometimes we feel so strongly about something, or someone, but are so scared, and damaged, and stubborn, and prideful that the two notions collide and we end up deleting someones number 5 times then re-saving it 6.

We’ll think of them all day but never think to call. We see things that remind us of them (‘cuz almost everything reminds us of them) but never let them know. We take exactly 17 mins and 37 seconds to write out the cutest email but never send it. We wait all day for a text message and then when we get it, we wait all day to reply back. We think, and stress, and plan the perfect way to tell them how we feel but never say it. We prep ourselves to ask them how they feel but ask how their day went instead.

We go out on Wednesday nights and have a few drinks knowing damn well we got a weekday curfew of 10:00pm and tell all of our friends how much we’re feelin you … and then murder the idea after 1 shot of Jameson, and even worse let someone else pull the trigger.

So we forget about being honest and play games. We convince ourselves you ain’t feelin us and got other wo/men on your roster. We take “All I Want is You,” off of repeat and blast, “Return of the Mack.” We make up excuses like we think you make up excuses and flake on dates that we know we would’ve had a blast on. We walk away with our tail in between our legs, and brace ourselves for the “What ifs,” and regret. Because sometimes, we just rather hurt ourselves this way now, than have you hurt us later.”

GATNB